her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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