Dude my mom stole all your condoms
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
