Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
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