hell yes lets make some ravioli
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
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