Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
