Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
