i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
