Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
