No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
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