super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Randomize
