He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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