is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
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