she was so not down for the gang bang
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
