I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
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