Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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