now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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