She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
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