You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
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