That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
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Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
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I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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