Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
