hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
