2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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