I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Come share oat with me in your robe
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
