DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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