Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
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