Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize