I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Randomize
