sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
