Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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