How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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