White coat. Heels.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
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