don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
