I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
