Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
