Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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