why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
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