there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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