just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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