We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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