i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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