Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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