i barfeds in our rink
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
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