I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize