The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
