it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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