I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Randomize
