hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
