those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
