There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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