He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
So vagazzling was a success
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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