the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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