she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
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