So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
It's like God shit irony all over that family
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
