Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
i think i have herpe
just one?
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Randomize
