My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize