I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Randomize
